


For Her Love

by drieduptears



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Marriage, Terminal Illnesses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-30 11:28:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17827703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drieduptears/pseuds/drieduptears





	For Her Love

“Tess, please. Listen to what you're asking me to do. I can't do this. I can't. I love you."

Scott placed his hands gently on her shoulders as he quietly pleaded with her.

"Please Scott, just do it! I can't take it anymore!"

"No. I can't. I need you, I love you!" He was trying hard not to raise his voice, but why couldn't she see reason?

“Scott, darling, I hurt so much. I'm in pain all the time. Even lying in this bed hurts. I thought about this all last night. I'm sure about this. I'm positive. I want to go and I need you to help me. Please! Do you want to see me in pain?"

"That's not fair." Scott gazed down at his wife as she pleaded with him. Even in her weakened state, Tessa was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He took her small hand tenderly in his and squeezed it. "How am I supposed to go on without you?"

"Pretend you're the one in this bed, Scott, imagine what I'm feeling. What would you be asking me?"

Scott quieted, deep in thought. "Just give me a few minutes okay, just a few?"

***3 Years Earlier***

"I knew you couldn't run forever!"

Scott glanced up at the triumphant voice. The petite, good looking brunette that had been chasing him since he left the concert jogged up to where he rested, hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath. She offered him a smile and sat down at his feet, grabbing his hand and pulling him down with her.

"You look winded.”

"I am. Why the hell were you chasing me? I would have given you an autograph if you just asked!"

"An autograph? Whatever for?" The brunette laughed. A musical laugh, Scott thought. You always hear about people having a “musical" laugh and this girl truly did.

"Because I...never mind...why were you chasing me then?"

"You dropped this."

She held out a leather wallet, stuffed to the brim with papers, photographs and money.

"I didn't look in it, I swear. I saw it fall right out of your pocket after you paid for your T-shirt at the concession stand. I was behind you.” she admitted.

"Thank you. Thank you very much." Scott took the wallet from her and stuffed it into his coat pocket. "I'll try to hold onto it this time."

"Sounds like a plan." The girl grinned at him and stood up, pausing to brush the dirt off the seat of her pants. "Well, I should get back, my friends... " She paused as if waiting for him to say something more. "Nice to have met you!" She waved and then started back the way she had come.

"Wait!" Scott stood as well and called out to her. "What's your name?"

“Tessa.” The brunette stopped, laughed, and turned around again. "What's yours?"

Scott told her and then called out once more, not wanting her to leave just yet. "Would you like to go out to dinner with me tonight? In thanks for returning my wallet?”

Tessa stood staring back at him with her hands crossed over her chest.

"How do I know you're not some psycho?"

"If I am, it's only for girls as pretty as you."

Tessa laughed again. "Great! A psycho with weird taste in women, just my luck!"

But Tessa had agreed to dinner. And many dinners after that. Scott had been enchanted by the fact that she had no idea who he was, a singer in a well known Tragically Hip tribute band, whose biggest claim to fame was having Gord Downie sing with them in a bar one night after a Hip show. Tessa was smitten by his boyish charm. Scott admired the fact that she refused to leave her job as a stylist to a local photographer just to be with him and Tessa was delighted that Scott offered to leave his job as the lead singer just to be with her, not that she would let him.

They spent as much time together as their careers allowed. Any free time they had was usually spent at Scott’s country home. Tessa and Scott both loved the serene peacefulness of the country and the welcome solitude after a busy work week. Scott would turn on the stereo so they could dance around the living room. Tessa had danced in her youth, so she would teach Scott the finer points of waltzing and foxtrots. “This will be useful knowledge come wedding season.” she would tease him. Sometimes, he would pull out his guitar and sing for Tessa, telling her he was just as good as Gord. Tessa would laugh and tell him “that’s debatable.”, and every time Scott would laugh and just sing louder. Tessa would watch him from the kitchen as he worked on his music, perfecting his sound for the band, but also trying to create his own unique songs. She would lean against the door frame and silently cheer him on as he tried out lyrics to the strumming of his guitar.

+++***+++

Late one summer evening, Scott and Tessa walked arm in arm slowly back to the house, after attending the county fair taking their time and enjoying the warm breezes that lightly brushed their skin.

“Tess, do you like my house?"

Tessa stopped to stare at Scott. "What a silly question! I love your house if you're in it." She reached to caress his cheek, but Scott knelt down in the dusty road suddenly. "What?" Tessa asked. "What's wrong."

"Nothing." Scott fumbled in the grass and looked up, smiling. “I just dropped something, that’s all.” Remaining on his knees, Scott held his hands out to Tessa. "I asked about the house for a reason." Scott blurted out, his face turning a light shade of pink.

Tessa wrapped her arms around him and turned her face down to his, giving him a bemused smile. "You did?"

"I'm hoping..." Scott paused to take a deep breath. Tessa tried not to laugh and ruin the moment. Kneeling down beside him, she leaned her head to his shoulder, burying her face in the curve of his neck so he wouldn't see her smiling. "I was hoping you would want to live there. With me." Scott took another deep breath as he held out the ring he held tightly in his palm. Tessa could feel him trembling and she rubbed his back slightly to calm him. 

"As my wife."

Before they could even think of planning a wedding, Scott had some business commitments with his next tour and Tessa had to arrange time off. After several months, when things kept popping up that needed to be done, they gave up. Tessa and Scott both took a two week leave and flew to Australia to get married by a minister out by the ocean, on a white sandy beach. Scott’s parents and Tessa’s mother had been a bit upset about not being informed until after the fact, but soon quieted when they saw how much in love the couple was.

Since they had honeymooned in Australia before returning home, normal life intruded almost as soon as they stepped on Canadian soil.. Scott resumed his tour of small Canadian cities and Tessa prepared Scott's house, now their house, for married life and their life together. She hung a hand painted sign in their bedroom. “Until the end of time.” The phrase had been part of their wedding vows and she knew that it was perfect for the house as soon as she saw it.

~~~Almost two years after the wedding~~~

"What's the matter? I thought it was me that couldn't keep up!"

Scott playfully ran right past Tessa as they tossed a Frisbee in the fields behind their property. He stopped when she didn't rush past him or toss a smart remark back to him as she usually did. He looked back to see her hunched over holding her middle, gasping for breath.

"Scott, I think I need to go to the doctor."

Tessa pulled herself upright and hugged her sweatshirt tighter to her body.

"A doctor, why?" Scott looked into her eyes worriedly, and then he grinned. "Are you...?"

"No, I don't think so." She leaned into Scott, absorbing his warmth. "I'm just cold all the time lately, and achy. I could barely get out of bed this morning."

"You've just caught a bug." Scott turned Tessa to face him and kissed her softly. "You do look a little pale." He ran his hands gently over her cheeks. "I'll run a hot bath for you when we get back to the house."

"Okay." Tessa nodded her head. "Can we go back now?" She murmured wearily.

Scott gazed at her with concern. "Alright." He held his hand out to her, giving her a gentle pull when she didn't move. Tessa’s legs buckled and she fell to the grass. Scott gathered her up in his arms, holding her close. Tessa never fell. He was the clumsy one.

Scott’s gut told him to forgo the hot bath and take her directly to the emergency room. "Hospital tonight." He informed her firmly and calmly, even though he was scared inside. "We'll find out what's wrong with you as soon as we can."

"Okay." Tessa yawned and rested her head on his shoulder. "Thank you Scott. I love you."

Scott carried a sleeping Tessa back into the house after the long trip to the hospital. They had stuck her with needles, asked questions and taken x rays. Scott promised to bring her back to find out the test results as soon as they came in. He tucked his wife into bed and went out to the kitchen to look out at the fields. He was frightened. He didn't want to find out the results of the many tests they took tonight. Tessa was never sick or tired. She had more energy than anyone he knew. But she was absolutely listless at the hospital and Scott had answered most of the doctors questions for her. He said a silent prayer that she be alright. He loved her so much. She had to be alright. He paused to look out at the waving fields of gold once more, before he joined Tessa in bed.

+++***+++

"Hantavirus?"

Scott stared at the doctor in shock and confusion. Tessa leaned against him, her hands in his, she didn’t have the energy to even respond to the diagnosis.

“What’s that?” Scott asked, dumbfounded but hopeful. A virus meant she could be treated, that Tess would be get better as soon as they got some medicine and antibiotics into her.

“Have you noticed any mice or rats on your property in the last month or so?” the doctor asked.

“Not in the house. But remember, Scott, I told you I was cleaning out the shed that one day and all the mice came running out and scared me?” Tessa drew in a gasping breath. “Scott wasn’t home, so I had to be brave.”

“Hmm.” The doctor made some notations and his serious look terrified Scott.

“She just needs the anti-virus right? Some antibiotics?”

They sat in shocked horror as the doctor explained that there was no known treatment. She hadn’t been diagnosed soon enough and the virus was too far advanced. The best they could do was keep her comfortable as her symptoms would start to escalate rapidly.

+++***+++

"Scott." Tessa burst into a coughing fit as she tried to rouse Scott from his memories. "Get the pillow. Please." She didn't want to  
beg, but she couldn't do this much longer. 

+++***+++

Scott and Tessa decided to renew their vows in the backyard of his beloved family home before Tessa became too ill. They invited only close friends and family. Tessa was having frequent dizzy spells and she didn’t want to be embarrassed by falling and hitting her head on her “new wedding day”. Scott held her tightly has they danced, professing his love for her as they slowly twirled around the dance floor. Later, she curled up beside him on the sofa as he played his guitar and sang “Long Time Running” for her. It was her favorite Hip song and the sound of his voice brought tears to her eyes as she thought back to their first wedding and their time on the beach, being close, sharing in their love. She fought to forget what awaited them when they returned home. Surrounded by their families and being with each other, they felt ageless.

None of the prescribed medicine seemed to help Tessa. Scott helplessly waited as she got sicker and sicker and weaker and weaker. The virus kept knocking her down until she just couldn't get up anymore. The doctors solemnly told him that it was now just a matter of time, the virus had fully overtaken her lungs, there just wasn't anything more they could do for his beloved wife. Scott went to the hospital chapel and cried, needing to get it all out before he saw Tessa. She needed him to be strong. To help her be strong. As he prayed, he held a tissue to his mouth to cover a coughing fit. Tucking the bloody tissue in his pocket, he took a raspy breath and went back to be with her.

"Take me to the cottage Scott. I don't want to die here."

Scott smiled and kissed her cheek. "You're not gonna die, babe. Don't talk like that." He tried to keep his voice from wavering.

"Honey, tomorrow is our anniversary. We've been married three years. I want to be at the cottage, by the water, not in this damn hospital bed with all these useless tubes and wires. I'm going to die and I want to die with you." Tessa waved her arm weakly.

"Take me home, please."

Scott knew there was no hope when the doctors let him take his wife home with no arguments. They knew. He wondered how long he had with her. Days? Hours? Minutes? It was so unfair.

So he had taken her to the cottage and put her in their bed. The window curtains were opened wide so that Tessa could see the water crashing on the beach below. Her CD of Scott singing his songs never left the CD player and she was wearing her favorite pajamas decorated with teddy bears. Scott only left her side to get her a drink of juice or water. She wasn't able to keep much food down. Scott tried to keep the mood positive. He didn't want Tessa feeling depressed or sorry for herself. He also didn't want to tell her that he was feeling ill now too. Over the night, while Tessa slept, he'd thrown up several times. He had also cleaned out the shed and the garage. The virus had finally caught up with him.

And now it was the morning of their anniversary.

Scott squeezed Tessa's hand gently and brushed a few wisps of hair from her forehead. Her body was a mere shadow, wasted away by the terrible virus. He laid beside her and carefully held her, afraid he might bump her the wrong way and cause her pain. He traced his fingers along her face, her cheekbones, her lips, her eyes, planting kisses in his fingers wake. Tessa's eyes opened, then fluttered shut again as he kissed her eyelids.

"Happy anniversary babe."

"My Scott." Tessa reached up to touch his face, but wasn't able to lift her arm. Scott lowered his head to her instead.

"I love you."

"I need you to do something, Scott, please."

+++***+++

All which lead them to this point.  
Scott watched Tessa struggle for a breath, coughing, straining to speak to him once more.

"I can't do this Tess!" he protested. "I can't....I need you....for as long as I can have you." He rested his head against her breast. "Please. Stay with me."

Tessa lifted her hand and managed to touch his lower back and stroke him briefly.

"Scott. I can't go on. It hurts too much. I don't want to live like this. I don't want to go back to the hospital and live on machines. I want to be with you, forever, but God has other plans. So I'm making damn sure my last moments are with you, and they are the way I want them. Scott, I love you."

Scott sat up, the tears falling freely down his face.

"I love you too. I don't want you to go."

"I know." Tessa began to cry and Scott wiped her tears away. "Give me the picture." Scott handed her the photo they kept on their dresser. It was taken by a tourist that happened to be on the beach during their wedding. They were fellow Canadians and had seen Scott perform several times. They had realized who it  
was getting married and offered to send several photographs to them since Tessa and Scott hadn't bothered with a wedding photographer. It was Tessa's favourite photo of her husband. 

"Now the pillow..." Tessa coughed violently again. "..please. God. Now. End this for me." she begged once more. 

They had mutually decided that Scott would smother Tessa in her sleep with the pillow and tell the doctors that she had passed in her sleep, which technically wouldn’t be a lie. Tessa brought up the idea because she thought it would be the easiest for Scott to deal with after.

Scott lifted a pillow from beneath Tessa's head and held it on his lap. He stared at it for a few minutes and then leaned over to kiss Tessa. "Are you sure?"

She nodded and coughed before speaking once more. "You're sick now too, aren't you?"

"How could you tell?"

"Your eyes. You've been holding it in, not wanting me to worry about you."

"You always know what I'm thinking."

"I'm thinking I would do this for you. Please Scott, I'm ready."

"Isn't there some other way?" Scott begged, trying to prolong the inevitable.

"No, it's the quickest way. The only way. Please!"

"Wait just a minute, I have a small idea."

Tessa shook her head weakly. "I can't wait, we need to do it like we planned."

"I'm going with you." Scott said, suddenly.

"No!" Tessa mustered up as much rage in her voice as she could. "No Scott! You can't!"

"I'm sick too. I'm going to die too." Scott took her hands in his and held them tightly. "So I'm going with you."

"Scott, you have medicine, things to help you get better."

"Medicine didn't help you get better." Scott muttered. bitterly.

"My system is weaker than yours, my illness is more advanced, you can live."

"I don't want to live without you Tess, I can't!" Scott felt his warm tears falling on their joined hands.

"Scott, I won't let you. I want you to live and love again. I won't let you do it." She fell into a coughing spell and left the rest unspoken.

Scott feared Tessa was getting hysterical so he silently agreed to her demands, but as she drifted off to sleep, Scott whispered, "You can't stop me, Tess. I love you too much."

Later that night, after making sure Tessa was fast asleep, Scott covered her gently with a warm blanket and picked her up easily in his arms. He had already made sure everything was left for their families to find. He laid out their wills, their bank statements, wallets - everything on the dining room table. Scott imagined things would be hard enough for them once the news got out. The news of what he was about to do to his wife and himself.

Scott carried Tessa to the shore, her weight so slight she was no effort for him. The water was gently lapping at his bare feet and Scott stood for a moment, embracing the feeling. Tessa stirred a bit in the cool breeze but remained asleep. He gazed down at her, bursting with love. Scott looked up once more, staring out at the distance waves, mesmerized by their beauty. A quick peek at the sky told him it was time.

"Tessa, I love you." Scott kissed her closed eyes softly and took the first steps into the water.


End file.
